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“You wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down.” ~Toni Morrison
A friend recently posted on Facebook the above quote with an image of a woman weighed down with several pieces of luggage emblazoned with “Shame,” “Guilt,” “Resentment,” and other unwanted feelings.
That quote by Toni Morrison and others like it always give me pause, because everyone knows they need to “give up the sh*t,” but sadly, very few know how to do it.
The tendency to ignore “the sh*t” is an age-old epidemic. When we’re upset, society tells us to “keep a stiff upper lip,” and even well-meaning family and friends encourage us to “let it go.” Consequently, we judge ourselves for feeling our feelings, and rush to stuff them, without first properly processing them. We think if we don’t give them any attention, they will go away.
Nothing could be further from the truth. What we resist persists. Unless a feeling is fully acknowledged and expressed, it becomes stored in the body, which can lead to emotional and physical “dis-ease.” Suppressed emotions are often at the root of irrational emotional outbursts, as well as unhealthy, self-sabotaging avoidance behaviors, ranging from watching too much TV or being a shopaholic, to being a rage-aholic and/or being addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, or other substances and activities.
Additionally, research in the burgeoning field of mind-body medicine reveals the damaging impact of toxic emotions on physical health. Even though the Western medical establishment hasn’t yet embraced the emotional causes of illness to the same extent as many other healing traditions, way back in the 1940s, the pioneering Australian psychiatrist Sir Henry Maudsley had the insight to state: “Sorrows which find no vent in tears may soon make other organs weep.”
Why do we repress our painful feelings? Aside from the fact emotional suppression is ingrained in our culture, we unconsciously fear if we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, we will fall into a bottomless pit of sadness, despair, or anger, and never find our way out. So rather than giving our hurt feelings all the attention they need, we avoid them. We hope they’ll go away, but they won’t—those feelings of resentment, rejection, regret, unworthiness, shame, and guilt are just tucked away in the tissues of our bodies and in our subconscious minds, creating havoc in our immune systems and causing emotional suffering over and over again.
The secret to releasing those unhealthy, low-vibrating feelings is to acknowledge them. Embrace them. Find where the feelings reside in your body and let them speak. Literally ask them what they wish to say. Then you can cry your eyes out, beat a pillow, write it out, tell a friend, or ideally do all of these actions. Allowing the full expression of a painful emotion causes it to dissipate, quickly and in a healthy way.
In my healing journey and in working with clients, I’ve found the greatest thing about fully acknowledging unwanted feelings is the more you do it, the less often they show up. It’s like letting air out of a balloon bit by bit: each time you deeply acknowledge and express a painful feeling, the energy causing the pain lessens, until finally, all the air is out of the balloon, and you’re not bothered like you used to be. In most cases, after you finally give a hurt feeling all the attention it needs, it’s gone from body and soul.
Not that you’ll never hurt again. Being human, you will inevitably be affected by loss and others’ bad behavior, but your reaction won’t be as strong as it was before you started processing your emotions. You’ll be able to honor any hurt feelings, release them, and then quickly return to your peaceful center.
When you’re no longer carrying the weight of unwanted feelings, you’re lighter. You’re literally filled with lighter energy, reflected by the higher vibrating emotions of love, joy, compassion, acceptance, and gratitude, which emerge to replace heavy, painful feelings like fear, resentment, despair, guilt, and regret.
That light is who you truly are. It’s the you who resides underneath the judgments and fear that disturb your peace.
Being that light empowers you to choose how you react in any given moment. With that kind of self-mastery, you will be able to soar.
Wishing you light, and a most blissful flight!
****If you would like assistance processing your emotions and/or wish to learn how to do it on your own, I can help via one-on-one Soul Harmony Healing sessions, and my transformational workshops and Soul Harmony Healing Circle gatherings (starting soon), which always include emotional release processes. If you’d like more info, please visit my website www.sharicovens.com, or contact me at shari@sharicovens.com, and we can arrange a time to talk. Thank you. Be well!
©2016 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. If you would like to republish this blog, you may most likely do so, providing you 1. Email shari@sharicovens.com to request permission; 2. Cite Shari Covens, Founder, Soul Harmony™ Healing, Success Coaching, Seminars; and 3. Link to www.sharicovens.com.
Be bliss. 