Do THIS for more Holiday Bliss—Tip #2

Reading time: 2 minutes.

Hello again! Following is Tip #2 to help you warm your heart so you can keep your cool this holiday season, and all year long. I hope you find it useful!

For holiday bliss:  Don’t take anything personally. 

Being around family for the holidays often reminds us that those we love the most can also irritate us the most. The key to remaining blissful when faced with others’ annoying behavior is to remember to not take it personally.

When anyone—whether it’s a loved one or a stranger—treats us in a way that is anything other than loving, patient, and kind, it truly isn’t about us. It’s about them. Behavior that is hurtful comes from the wounded place in each of us; if we are disturbed or suffering in any way, we tend to spread the pain around. Hurt people hurt people.

As long as we love ourselves and know our worth, we won’t be distressed by how others treat us. We may not appreciate or condone someone’s unenlightened behavior towards us, but we won’t feel resentful, judge ourselves, or be traumatized by it.

When you are faced with hurtful or abusive behavior, try seeing the offending party as a small child having a tantrum and simply not knowing any better. If someone is behaving in an offensive way, it is in fact the wounded child within who is acting out. Behavior that is anything other than loving is not the behavior of a conscious, secure, adult mind and heart.

When we can recognize that unloving behavior comes from a painful place within the perpetrator, we can forgive them for aggravating us and then offer them compassion. It is in the forgiving and offering of understanding that we can find our peace—and even bliss, which we can then share with others.

Your ability to experience bliss is in your hands. Choose bliss!

If you’ve been feeling stuck and wish to finally stop repeating patterns that cause you emotional or physical “dis-ease,” Soul Harmony™ Healing can help. This gentle process rapidly reveals and resolves the hidden, ancestral roots of unwanted emotional and physical states, and helps you experience a deep transformational shift that lasts. To find out more, please contact me at shari@sharicovens.com or text 310-779-1173 to arrange a no-obligation phone call to explore whether a Soul Harmony™ Healing session may be right for you. Sessions are conducted by phone or Skype. It will be my honor to facilitate a quantum leap on your path to wholeness. 

Wishing you wonder and joy this holiday season, and always.

Shari Covens
Soul Harmony™ Healing and Empowerment Coaching
www.sharicovens.com

©2019 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. 

Do THIS for a more Blissful Holiday Season.

Reading time: 2 minutes

The holidays are finally here, a purely happy time for many, but for some it can be stressful. Keeping up with the demands of the season, including spending time with family, can sometimes cause old wounds to resurface, and old reactive patterns may re-emerge, even though you thought you had resolved your issues.

Because so many souls find it easy to have their buttons pushed this time of year, I’m sharing some tips about how to remain more centered in peacefulness during the holidays—and beyond.

The following tip will help you warm your heart so you can keep your cool this holiday season, and all year long.

For holiday bliss:  Manage your expectations. 

One of the best ways to avoid getting upset or disappointed this holiday season is to keep our expectations in check. Expectations of others’ behavior and of how things “should be” are a leading cause of disharmony and suffering.

When something disturbs our peace, it is often because we have a set of standards that must be met in order for us to be okay. We are rarely aware that we may feel a need to control others and our environment in order to feel safe. This need is based on a subconscious belief that we are less than or somehow separate from other souls, and are therefore alone and unprotected.

If, however, we can take a moment to center ourselves in the truth that we are always at one with all that is, and allow ourselves to be anchored in our loving essence, we will know we are safe. We then can allow others to be as they are, and to allow “what is” to be enough. We can stay centered in peace even when things aren’t unfolding exactly as we wish.

I’m not suggesting we should give up discernment in order to adjust our expectations. The idea is to determine whether we might be too rigid in our judgement of what is acceptable. While it can be hard to detach and to look at our circumstances objectively, we will be doing ourselves and all concerned a big favor by asking ourselves, before interacting with others or judging a situation, “Are my expectations causing unnecessary discord, for myself or others?”

The fact is we can allow ourselves to still be okay even if things aren’t “just so.” After all is said and done, what is more important: for things to be a certain way, or to strive for more peace, love, and harmony in all ways, every day?

Your ability to experience bliss is in your hands. Choose bliss!

NOTE: If you’ve been feeling stuck in any way and would like to discover and release any ancestral, subconscious programs that might be holding you back, and to experience a deep transformational shift that lasts, please contact me at shari@sharicovens.com to arrange a no-obligation phone call to explore whether a Soul Harmony™ Healing session may be right for you. It will be my honor to facilitate a quantum leap on your path to wholeness. 

Wishing you wonder and joy this upcoming holiday season, and always.

Shari Covens
Soul Harmony™ Healing and Empowerment Coaching
www.sharicovens.com

©2019 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. 

Forgive.

A couple days ago, I saw a Facebook post by an acquaintance in California who was finding it difficult to forgive someone who had mistreated her in a financial matter. She posted, “The inability to truly forgive has been eating me alive.”

Her comment reminded me of how debilitating a lack of forgiveness can be. As stated in the ancient Hindu text, the Vedanta, “holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for your enemy to die.” The medical field of psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the interaction between emotional states and the nervous and immune systems, also has shown that emotions stored in the body can wreak havoc on your immune system. Anger and resentment are literally toxic to your body, and when you’re holding on to those feelings it’s impossible to forgive.

To stay healthy and reach a state in which forgiveness can occur, it’s essential to process painful emotions, to express and acknowledge them, so they can fully dissipate. How to process toxic feelings? Write it all out, have a good cry, beat up a pillow, and ideally, talk it out with a friend or counselor. Once you give grief, anger, and resentment the attention they need, those painful feelings can more easily change to feelings of love and compassion, for both yourself—for your suffering—and  for those who treated you badly.

I realize you may be thinking, “Why should I feel love and compassion for those who treated me badly?” Well, one reason is because “hurt people hurt people.” Those who behave badly to other people are typically troubled souls who react from their own limitations, fears, and wounds. While forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to stay connected to them, you can still have compassion for their woundedness.

Another reason to feel love and compassion for your tormentors is because it’s good for your health. Those positive emotions are known to release the “feel good” hormones that stimulate cell growth and boost your immune system. Forgiveness is truly a healing tonic for your body and soul.

When injustices happen, if you can do the work to process your emotions, you can more quickly and easily return to a more peaceful state. When you’re at peace, you’ll be able to connect with your heart, and from that place, you will be able to forgive. By forgiving, you not only contribute more love and compassion to the world, you also elevate your own health and well-being. And it feels so good!

How to Give Up What’s Weighing You Down

Reading time: 3 minutes

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down.” ~Toni Morrison

A friend recently posted on Facebook the above quote with an image of a woman weighed down with several pieces of luggage emblazoned with “Shame,” “Guilt,” “Resentment,” and other unwanted feelings.

That quote by Toni Morrison and others like it always give me pause, because everyone knows they need to “give up the sh*t,” but sadly, very few know how to do it.

The tendency to ignore “the sh*t” is an age-old epidemic. When we’re upset, society tells us to “keep a stiff upper lip,” and even well-meaning family and friends encourage us to “let it go.” Consequently, we judge ourselves for feeling our feelings, and rush to stuff them, without first properly processing them. We think if we don’t give them any attention, they will go away.

Nothing could be further from the truth. What we resist persists. Unless a feeling is fully acknowledged and expressed, it becomes stored in the body, which can lead to emotional and physical “dis-ease.” Suppressed emotions are often at the root of irrational emotional outbursts, as well as unhealthy, self-sabotaging avoidance behaviors, ranging from watching too much TV or being a shopaholic, to being a rage-aholic and/or being addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, or other substances and activities.

Additionally, research in the burgeoning field of mind-body medicine reveals the damaging impact of toxic emotions on physical health. Even though the Western medical establishment hasn’t yet embraced the emotional causes of illness to the same extent as many other healing traditions, way back in the 1940s, the pioneering Australian psychiatrist Sir Henry Maudsley had the insight to state: “Sorrows which find no vent in tears may soon make other organs weep.”

Why do we repress our painful feelings? Aside from the fact emotional suppression is ingrained in our culture, we unconsciously fear if we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, we will fall into a bottomless pit of sadness, despair, or anger, and never find our way out. So rather than giving our hurt feelings all the attention they need, we avoid them. We hope they’ll go away, but they won’t—those feelings of resentment, rejection, regret, unworthiness, shame, and guilt are just tucked away in the tissues of our bodies and in our subconscious minds, creating havoc in our immune systems and causing emotional suffering over and over again.

The secret to releasing those unhealthy, low-vibrating feelings is to acknowledge them. Embrace them. Find where the feelings reside in your body and let them speak. Literally ask them what they wish to say. Then you can cry your eyes out, beat a pillow, write it out, tell a friend, or ideally do all of these actions. Allowing the full expression of a painful emotion causes it to dissipate, quickly and in a healthy way.

In my healing journey and in working with clients, I’ve found the greatest thing about fully acknowledging unwanted feelings is the more you do it, the less often they show up. It’s like letting air out of a balloon bit by bit: each time you deeply acknowledge and express a painful feeling, the energy causing the pain lessens, until finally, all the air is out of the balloon, and you’re not bothered like you used to be. In most cases, after you finally give a hurt feeling all the attention it needs, it’s gone from body and soul.

Not that you’ll never hurt again. Being human, you will inevitably be affected by loss and others’ bad behavior, but your reaction won’t be as strong as it was before you started processing your emotions. You’ll be able to honor any hurt feelings, release them, and then quickly return to your peaceful center.

When you’re no longer carrying the weight of unwanted feelings, you’re lighter. You’re literally filled with lighter energy, reflected by the higher vibrating emotions of love, joy, compassion, acceptance, and gratitude, which emerge to replace heavy, painful feelings like fear, resentment, despair, guilt, and regret.

That light is who you truly are. It’s the you who resides underneath the judgments and fear that disturb your peace.

Being that light empowers you to choose how you react in any given moment. With that kind of self-mastery, you will be able to soar.

Wishing you light, and a most blissful flight!

****If you would like assistance processing your emotions and/or wish to learn how to do it on your own, I can help via one-on-one Soul Harmony Healing sessions, and my transformational workshops and Soul Harmony Healing Circle gatherings (starting soon), which always include emotional release processes. If you’d like more info, please visit my website www.sharicovens.com, or contact me at shari@sharicovens.com, and we can arrange a time to talk. Thank you. Be well!

 

©2016 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. If you would like to republish this blog, you may most likely do so, providing  you 1. Email shari@sharicovens.com to request permission; 2. Cite Shari Covens, Founder, Soul Harmony™ Healing, Success Coaching, Seminars; and 3. Link to  www.sharicovens.com.  

 

Have no fear. Grace is here.

Reading time: 2 minutes

Greetings, lovely souls! If you ever doubt whether you will find your purpose or be supported in fulfilling it, you may find hope and inspiration by the following message, which came to me a few years ago when I was stuck, lingering over the past and struggling to figure out the best way to move forward towards my heart’s calling. I was merely a channel for these words, which flowed onto the page, strengthening my resolve and providing comfort, insight, and motivation as they came to me. Please enjoy!

Grace is Here.

The way of Grace is the way of surrender, of happiness, of living your best, divinely planned life, without the blocks and obstacles most of us humans create for ourselves.

You can get out of your way. You can overcome the past, leave behind any past mistakes. Wrong choices weren’t wrong, they were for your growth, they provided the particular lessons you needed to learn.

You may think your time is past, that you’ve waited too long to find your path and fulfill your destiny.  But it is NEVER too late.

As you heed this call now, your destiny is grabbing you and taking you exactly where you need to go, leading you to do exactly what you need to be doing.

So, have no fear. Grace is here.

Grace overrides the law of Karma, the law of Cause and Effect. Grace can wash away the errors of the past, eliminate the consequences, and allow for new choices, new possibilities. If you’d like to move more confidently towards your dreams, invite Grace into your life.

How do you cultivate Grace? Ask for it! Ask with an open, sincere heart. Surrender your will to  divine will, and know that your kingdom will come—the  kingdom of heaven on earth.

If you feel you have been too alone, perhaps it was meant to be, to give you more chances for the quiet and stillness you needed in order to hear your inner voice calling you, leading you to your true path.

Keep your heart open, listen to your heart and soul. You must be very still and quiet in order to hear the voice within that has all the answers. The answers are coming. Have faith, and patience, and willingness to hear the truth and learn what you must do, what your heart wishes to do.

Be still and quiet and listen. Close your eyes. You will be shown the way.

As you gain clarity and start to find your way, ask for what you desire and you will receive it, easily, effortlessly, justly, and kindly. You will be given to, so you will be able to give—in a much more powerful and beautiful and effective way than you can imagine. You will be able to give, and give, and give some more. But you must first receive—receive the earthly and heavenly support that is yours for the asking.

You will give your gifts to the world, and you’ll get the world in return.  All your hopes and dreams can come true.  It’s all up to you.

©2016 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. If you would like to republish this article, you may most likely do so, providing  you 1. Email shari@sharicovens.com to request permission; 2. Cite Shari Covens, Founder, Soul Harmony™ Healing, Success Coaching, Seminars; and 3. Link to  www.sharicovens.com.  

 

 

Have you listened to your body lately?

Reading time: 3 minutes

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my musings on health and happiness, and I thought you’d appreciate these words inspired by a news story about medical practices I recently heard on my local National Public Radio station.

The report addressed a study conducted with medical students during their internships.  The study instructed one group of students to listen to their patients and ask questions about their life, while the control group received no instructions about listening.  Big surprise—the patients who were listened to received better treatment and fared better overall.  Could there have been any doubt listening to patients was better for them than not listening to them?

I was saddened by this reminder of the disconnected way in which conventional Western medicine is so often practiced in this country.  Then it occurred to me this detached approach to healing is a reflection of the society in which this medical care system thrives.  If more people were listening to themselves, tuning into their feelings, and generally paying more attention to themselves, they would demand a healing system that honors them in the same way.

In my healing practice, a key step in the transformational process is to find where any sense of “dis-ease” resides in the body, and to then give that body part a voice. The uncomfortable feeling may range from tightness in the gut due to feeling trapped or anxious, to pain or weakness from an illness or injury.

Typically I ask my client to put their hand on the part of their body that is feeling pain or discomfort, and to pretend that body part can actually speak. Focusing on the body part, the client says, “I’m feeling hurt because  _________.” By finally giving the pain the attention it needs, the words describing the feelings behind the pain can be expressed easily. In fact, after being suppressed for so long, often those feelings are blurted out in a way that can be a bit startling—in a good way. The truth comes out and the healing can begin.

When we listen to what a body in pain has to say, it never fails to reveal a toxic emotion—typically related to a limiting belief—that has been stored in the subconscious mind for a long time.  These hidden feelings can cause people to be out of alignment with their divine nature and prevent them from experiencing the peace, love, joy, vitality—and sometimes even the abundance— they deserve.

In my case, for example, the left side of my body would frequently become contracted and cramped when I was under pressure. The pain was often debilitating, so much so I would end up curled in a fetal position, completely drained of energy.

After suffering through this condition periodically for many years, I finally asked that wound up, tensed feeling in my left arm, “What do you want to say?”  I then heard myself blurt out, “I’m not gonna make it!”

The second after the words came out of my mouth, my left arm started shaking itself out and I felt a tremendous release of tension from my entire left side.  I had apparently been holding on to an unconscious fear related to survival—i.e. if I didn’t get my task done in the allotted time, which was usually a self-imposed deadline, I subconsciously thought I would die. Once this feeling came forward and I acknowledged it, my body totally relaxed and came back into balance.  My conscious mind knew I would survive whether or not I accomplished my goal within a certain amount of time, but my subconscious was consumed with fear—a paralyzing fear of death.

When you are unaware that you are holding on to a feeling or belief that is out of alignment with the truth of your being, your body will try to get your attention and give you a clue. The longer it takes for you to take notice of what your body is trying to tell you, the more severe the physical manifestation of that repressed feeling.

If you want to feel better quickly, get in the habit of paying attention to your feelings of discomfort, lack, and limitation, and then locate those feelings in your body. When you find the spot where your uneasiness resides, put one of your hands on that part of your body—even if it’s a physical injury—and pretend it can talk to you.

Imagine your hand is a microphone and ask your body what it wants to say. Let your body speak.  Listen to it.  If it says it is angry, ask it why it is angry. If it says it is sad, ask it why. Keep prodding until there’s nothing left to say. Just acknowledging the hidden emotions that may come forward can be enough to release the pain/symptoms instantly and/or allow the sad/bad feeling to dissipate.

When you listen to yourself, you can give yourself the love, understanding, and reassurance your soul desires. Since your relationship with the world is a reflection of your relationship with your self, if you ignore your feelings, you also may be denying yourself a a more satisfying connection with others.

So listen up!  When your body needs to speak, listen.  Then see how much better you fare in every area of your life.

The ability to live in bliss is in your hands.  Choose bliss! 

Wishing you peace, love, joy, and abundance, always— 

Shari Covens

P.S.  Sometimes you may need help accessing those feelings that are stored beneath your conscious awareness. Soul Harmony™ Healing rapidly reveals and transforms the hidden emotions that can keep you trapped in unwanted patterns and that can cause pain and suffering, emotionally and physically.  It is my honor to guide souls through this graceful process of transformation so they can enjoy the clarity, peace, and bliss that is who they truly are. If you are ready to feel your absolute best in body, mind, and soul, please contact me at shari@sharicovens.com to arrange a phone call to see if Soul Harmony™ Healing is for you.  Sessions are conducted in person, on the phone, or via Skype, so I can work with you wherever you are.

©2016 Shari Covens. All rights reserved. If you would like to republish this article, you may most likely do so, providing  you 1. Email shari@sharicovens.com to request permission; 2. Cite Shari Covens, Founder, Soul Harmony™ Healing, Success Coaching, Seminars; and 3. Link to  www.sharicovens.com.  

Hello, again!

Dear Friends,

After taking a while on hiatus, I am now starting to write again and to share my insights, ideas, and experience related to ways of doing and being that promote wholeness–and that allow you to fully be the eternal expression of bliss that you truly are.

Being “the eternal expression of bliss” means you’ve been able to shed–at the deepest level–the limiting subconscious programs that cause painful emotional or physical reactions to life’s challenges. The truth is, you can be at peace and blissful no matter what. Facilitating the ability to live in this state is the purpose of my healing work, and the way of service that brings me great joy.

While I’m gearing up to write new blogs, I’ll be sharing some of my previous blog posts–the ones readers responded to most when I first published them a few years ago. See below for my first re-post, titled, “What is Unforgivable?”.

I hope you enjoy these articles and share them if they resonate. I also would love to know your thoughts about them, so please leave a comment if you feel moved to do so.

Thank you!

Shari Covens
Soul Harmony™ Healing, Coaching, Seminars
www.sharicovens.com

© 2015 Shari Covens. All rights reserved.